TAMPA, Fla. — Martha and Chris Thomas are still grieving the loss of their daughter, Ella.
“I miss her being here all the time,” said Martha.
She continued, “I have a hole in my heart, it will never go away, but my heart keeps growing bigger and bigger around it to support that hole.”
“My initial, aside from the shock and just pure pain, was I felt shame,” said Chris.
While their son, Solomon, was playing in the NFL, their daughter was in college in Arkansas. But something happened to Ella while at school.
“She had a huge change in behavior. She suddenly stopped attending classes. Her grades dropped. She was in college, so we didn't know,” explained Martha.
But what they now know is Ella was raped at a fraternity party, and soon after, she took her own life at just 24 years old.
Ella’s dad had no idea this could happen to people of color.
“I never thought our daughter was at risk because I didn't think black people died by suicide. I didn't think that was an issue,” explained Chris.
But the Thomas’s learned it’s more common now than ever before.
According to the CDC, suicide among black youth is rising at twice the rate of all other racial and ethnic groups. And suicides among American Indian and Alaskan Native youth is two and a half times the rate of any other racial or ethnic group.
Another alarming statistic from the CDC is that suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 34. And 1 in 4 young people have seriously considered suicide.
So the Thomases started a nonprofit called “The Defensive Line” or TDL. It is designed to help people of color struggling with their mental well-being.
“Create a point where we talk about the importance of mental health. We communicate and connect about it, and we give people the resources. And we go into schools, middle school, high schools, universities, and we talk about the signs, how to create a mentally healthy environment, how to get parents the support they need,” said Chris.
As a teacher and coach for over 30 years, Martha engaged with 140 students per day. So, she knew they needed to reach teachers and other school staff.
“If I knew as an educator what to look for, I could also be part of the solution. I could be one of the people that was on the team to help save kids,” said Martha.
TDL focuses on communities where at least 50% of those who live there are young people of color, and neighborhoods are struggling the most.
“In many different communities of color, there's a greater stigma, but there also has been less access to resources, you know, and those resources have been working. Young white kids are dying less. The rates have gone down. So, it's working. Getting the resources to people is actually working,” explained Martha.
“We're also working with black churches so that they can talk about the importance of mental health, of whole health, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, getting all those things right, the four legs of a stool,” said Chris.
They also urge parents to be brave enough to ask their children or loved ones if they are struggling with their mental well-being.
“Reducing the stigma and realizing you just can't pray this away. One of the things we always talk about, you know, prayers are weapon. Therapy is a strategy. You need both, not 'either/or' it's both,” said Chris.
“And really, it's so important to listen. You know, not try to say, 'Oh, you don't mean that or stop saying that.' To really listen and try to figure out what it means. How they're really doing,” said Martha.
Solomon Thomas, Ella’s brother, is the co-founder and board chair of “The Defensive Line.”
He still plays in the NFL for the New York Jets and educates young people to focus on their mental well-being.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 273-8255 or just dial 988.
