The first day of school can be anxiety-inducing for both parents and kids, but there are some things you can do to help make the transition from summer easier.
ABC Action News sat down with Dr. Jennifer Katzenstein, the co-director of the Center for Behavioral Health at Johns Hopkins All Children's Hospital, about some simple things you can do right now.
WATCH Reducing back-to-school anxiety in kids
What can parents do to reduce the anxiety in kids as we head towards the first day of school?
"It's so important to get that routine settled, to make sure that we know where our supplies are going to be, that we know our school really well, where our classroom is, who our teacher is, and what it's going to look like for the upcoming year. So, as we head into the new school year, the biggest piece of advice I can give all parents is, the more information that we can be talking about, the more we can be preparing ourselves and our kids, the better."
What are some things parents can do at home to prepare?
"It really is helpful that when we are keeping consistency and location, and also in our knowledge of the school, that we see a little bit less anxiety, but still just as important to do that. Prep work going to a new school comes with its own set of challenges, especially if we're changing classes, or we need to be thinking about multiple teachers and lots more organization. So to the extent possible, anytime there's a new school, getting a good tour, making sure that your child is there with you, and that they really are going to know where the bathrooms are, where their classroom or classrooms are going to be, and if they still have a locker, where that locker is and how long it's going to take them to get into it.
One thing that you can do at home, though, if you have, if you know it's three minutes, four minutes between classes: run a little simulation at home. Set a timer on the microwave or a timer on your phone, and feel what four minutes feels like. Pull out some notebooks, put them together, run around the house, use the restroom, really get a feel for four minutes, because it is more time than you think, but just that short feeling of four minutes can be overwhelming."
How do you know if the anxiety in your child is normal?
"There's a typical amount of stress and anxiety, especially heading into any new situation and a new school year—totally appropriate for any child. However, if it starts to impact their ability to engage in their daily life, go to school—if they're refusing to go to school, if it is a tantrum and a fight every morning to get out the door, if you're not even able to get them out of the car or onto the bus—when you're having those major concerns about those transition times, that's when you want to be seeking out the support of a trusted counselor, therapist, your pediatrician, and beyond that. If it extends past about a month and a half into the school year, you're still seeing anxiety and worry, that six -week mark is really a transition point. We want to be able to get additional support then, too."
What's your biggest advice when it comes to kids and social media and device use?
"It really depends. One of the most important factors when it comes to social media is having, number one, physical activity outside of the device use to be protective. So having those other activities and a really strong support system outside of your device use is going to be protective against low self-esteem.
I saw this great quote the other day that our kids aren't just watching us, they're reflecting us. If we're on social media, if we're using our devices, they're gonna see that, and they are reflecting our behavior, sometimes for the good and sometimes not so good. When that happens, I think it's also a great time for us to reevaluate what we're doing and then really talk to your kids about what you're doing. If something happens on social media that makes you feel a certain way, or someone says something that makes you feel uncomfortable, the perfect time to say, 'Wow, I just read this. I'm not feeling so great about it. Has anything like that ever happened to you?'
I think as parents, keeping that emotionality inside, because all of us want to just scream, "What are you talking about?" Once in a while. But just having calm, even keel conversation, being able to really reframe a question into a statement. So 'tell me more about that' can go a long way, and just sitting and listening, because sometimes our kids don't want us to help them problem solve. They just want us to be there, to be a good support."
What is a good age to start having these conversations?
"You can start as young as two or three, right? Like, even just having the conversation very simply, like, 'Tell me about that. Tell me about how you felt in the social situation with a friend who maybe wasn't kind on the playground.' I'm really finding that, like 7, 8, 9, depending on the child, is the perfect time to dive a little bit deeper. As a parent, seeing how far you can push them, because they know so much more than we give them credit for, and they have access to so much more information than we ever did. Super helpful to find out what's going on in their heads and what they're seeing every day.
Every day, if you can take just 10 to 15 minutes for everyone to put their devices down, for you to have that conversation without any distractions, to be able to just say, 'Talk to me about your day.' [It's] going to lead to that being just a typical part of your day and an expectation. If you haven't started that yet, it's never too late. So you might get a little bit of a reaction, but you're going to persevere through it. You're going to keep trying every day, and that's going to give you the opportunity to really build that communication."
