Pastor to church members: 'Quit Facebook!'

PALM HARBOR, Fla. - A New Jersey minister delivered on his promise Sunday to devote his sermon to encouraging his congregation to quit the social networking website Facebook.

Cedric Miller is the pastor at Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune, N.J. On Sunday, he told his church members Facebook can ruin marriages and urged them to quit using the website.

Miller said he has seen many marriages harmed after one person in the couple begins talking on Facebook with an old friend or an old flame.

“And, before you know it, connections are being made and, sooner or later, it winds up in my office,” Miller said.

Miller told church leadership they would have to resign if they did not delete their Facebook accounts.

Miller’s message was diluted this week, though, when it was revealed he and his wife had engaged in a three-way affair with a male member of the church years ago. Miller confirmed the information.

Dr. Eric Rosen, a psychologist in Palm Harbor, agrees with Miller, though, that Facebook can damage a marriage. He said he has had clients whose relationships have been harmed by using the website.

Rosen, like Miller, believes the trouble starts when one person in the couple tries to secretly make contact with an old friend or an old romantic interest using Facebook.

“The act of looking signals a betrayal,” Rosen said. “But it will become a betrayal the longer you’re doing it and the partner doesn’t have a sense you’re doing it.”

Rosen said, often times, the person re-connecting may see the act as harmless, while the partner sees it as a breech of trust.

He said not having a Facebook account is “probably the safest way” to approach the situation, but suggested a ‘family’ page as an alternative.

If each person in the partnership is going to maintain their own page, Rosen suggests, “the best rule of thumb is to let your partner know who you’re connected with.”